What is Emotionally Focused Therapy?

Emotionally Focused Therapy, or EFT, is a form of short-term therapy with the goal of restoring emotional connections, thereby improving interpersonal relationships. EFT is particularly beneficial for couples who have lost intimacy.

EFT is different from other types of therapies you may be familiar with. In this modality, therapists and clients recognize the sanctity of partner connection and its transformative power. Once an emotional connection is restored, a mutually supportive and satisfying relationship follows. 

When is EFT Used?

EFT is particularly useful for couples who are feeling emotionally isolated or alienated or are experiencing intense fear, anger, or loss of trust. Conversely, EFT is also helpful in situations where couples or individuals have difficulty understanding and expressing their own emotions or who believe showing emotions is a sign of weakness.

What to Expect

When you have found a therapist you both feel comfortable with, he or she will spend the first session or two taking your history and observing your interactions. Once your therapist understands your fears and insecurities, he or she will work with you to de-escalate your emotional reactivities. 

You and your partner will then begin to expand your emotional response patterns so that you can communicate effectively and be responsive to your partner’s needs. Working closely with your therapist, you’ll restore a deep emotional bond and create a sense of security in which you and your partner can share your vulnerabilities and provide comfort for each other.

What Makes a Good Emotionally Focused Therapist?

EFT therapists are licensed mental health professionals who have received additional training in EFT. Look for someone who has received certification through the Center for Excellence in Emotional-Focused Therapy (ICEEFT).

You also want to work with someone who is skilled at listening empathically, can see all perspectives and points of view, and recognizes patterns of conflict. Also, experience definitely matters. Look for someone with extensive training and a track record of helping couples.

And finally, you want someone with a good personality fit! You’ve both got to feel comfortable sharing and opening up to your therapist.

If you’d like to explore EFT therapy, please reach out to me. I’d be very happy to answer any questions you may have and see if I may be a good fit for your needs.